Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and dishwashers.

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has revealed that he knows a little bit about cricket, but practically nothing about dishwashers. But dishwashers were irrelevant to Rudd's election campaign - from the very outset, Rudd had a fair idea that Howard was washed-up.

Apply the heat to racists.

The cricket authorities have created a hotline to put the heat on racists who abuse our dear friends the Indian cricketers. And too right, I say - give 'em bloody curry!

Kevin Rudd and cricket.

Prime Minister Rudd is remarkable - he bowls me over! Not only does he recognise a Chinaman as a Googly ... he can hold a bloody conversation with one too!

On your marks!

WE don't have to WIN the human race ... just SAVE it.

Three Wise Men at Bethlehem.

The Archbishop of Canterbury has one theory, but I've heard The Three Wise men were there to sign up a star replacement for his poor old dad ... who hadn't scored in yonks.

Domestic bliss

Marriage should be a concord ... but not the sort of things that fly across the kitchen!

Beckham curves the ball

Beckham's a beaut bloke. And he bends over backwards to please his adoring fans. Jeez, does he curve that ball ... pity his wife can't show some curvature ...

New Opposition Leader Dr Brendan Nelson

I reckon Brendan Nelson is the one doctor who'll probably never tell us we're not getting enough Greens.